We're All Stars Now in the Dope Show*

J and I had date night tonight. He really wanted to see a movie - so we found a sitter, bought some tickets online and set out.

We left a bit early, too early to go to the theater. So, I suggested we stop for a beer. He said "No, let's find a bookstore." Huh?

Bookstores are my gig. He makes fun of me for wanting to spend even part of an evening out poking around a bookstore. But, whatever. It was nice.

We headed to the theater a while later. Got our tickets to see The Blind Side (which was good despite Sandra Bullock's blonde hair and Tim McGraw's hair piece) and waded through the lobby full of angsty New Moon-awaiting teenagers to theater 17. Which was fairly full. We managed to find two seats next to a family: parents and two teenage boys.

While waiting for the movie to start, I noticed the kid next to me get a text on his phone. Being the inherently nosy person I am, I sideways-glanced to read the text. I missed the incoming text but got to read the response. Which was this:

"Dude, I'm at a movie but if you come by around 10 or 11, I'll sell you an 1/8."

What?! Are you fucking kidding me? I was sitting next to a little shithead drug dealer at the movies. And he was closing drug deals while hanging out WITH HIS MOM.

The next few texts involved how expensive the last shit he sold this guy was, whether he could just get a blunt tonight and when he could get it.

About an hour into the movie, my little movie neighbor conveniently excused himself for a few minutes. He didn't have to pee, y'all. I'm relatively sure he came back from the lobby with a little extra cash in his pocket.

I seriously sat there and contemplated whether to tell his parents on the way out of the theater that their son was a dope pusher. I didn't, of course, because I'm a pussy.

What would you have done?

*Apologies to Marilyn Manson for stealing his song lyric

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