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Sometimes I'd like to put them out with the recycling on Friday mornings. And sometimes, I don't. Today was one of the times I didn't want to unload them on the sanitation workers.

Last year, I started receiving solicitation mailers from the AARP - which I believe stands for American Association of Retired Persons? I thought it was funny. A mislabeled, mis-sold mailing list, for sure. Lately though, I've noticed continued mail from the AARP as well as junk mail from companies which I have to believe have purchased the AARP mailing list. I get a shit-ton of solicitations for supplemental Medicare coverage. Yesterday, I was specially invited to check out a new community of maintenance-provided villas in a community for older adults via a lovely postcard. I don't think any of those older adults would appreciate it if I moved in next door with my 7 year old, his basketball goal and scooter, my 6 year old, her bike and traveling circus of toys, my two 2 year old boys and their wagons, riding toys, Fisher-Price lawnmowers and screaming fits. So, anyway. The mail. I finally realized that the AARP (and now the sharers of its lists) truly believe that I am over 50

A year ago, I was a "retired" attorney (the Bars like to call me "inactive", which I take as a personal affront). And a stay-at-home mom with four kids, a Suburban and a blog. The mortgage crisis was taking its financial toll on our family income and I was casually looking around, trying to figure out what I could do to generate a little bit of extra cash. But the conditions were strict. Must be able to continue to stay home. Must have flexible hours due to school, twin toddlers, soccer, basketball, baseball, softball, summer camps, religious ed, dance class, etc. I toyed with re-activating my law license and realized that it would require many hours of (and dollars for) CLE. And the payoff was uncertain. My experience in the legal practice is that most attorneys don't understand/care about the demands of children. (Have I told you the story of my former law partner who volunteered his secretary to babysit my infant in our office so that I could attend a meeting

Tidbits from two of my sons today: As we drove up to the Starbucks drive-thru at about 9:30am, 2 year old C started yelling, "WAN FWIES?! WAN FWIES?!" - because drive-thrus are supposed to have fries, Goddamnit. He then looked at the obviously gay barista at the pick-up window and yelled, "DADDY!" And then, tonight, I told my 7 year old over and over that eyedrops were not going to hurt (allergies...). His response: "But they will hurt my soul ...."

I can't believe it even took this long. Last night, at a four way stop, I said (to another car/driver), "JESUS! Is anyone going to give me a turn?" C said "Jebus, jebus, jebus . . . jebus . . . jebus, jebus" the entire rest of the way home. I'm just pleased it wasn't "fuck". That's already what they call forks though. ***** In other news, spring break started yesterday. I'm looking forward to and dreading the next 10 days. And I'm exhausted, which tends to slow entries to this blog severely. My writing is going other places - family law websites, criminal law websites, law firm websites, kids' activities websites, kids' clothing websites, criminal law trial summaries. And my energy is going there too - along with the energy I give to my kids. So, I'm tired. I hope that my kids are entertaining enough over break that I have some stories to share! Happy St. Patrick's Day next week to everyone - and this weekend for e

My mother has offered to stay overnight with the kids this weekend so that J and I can go out, hang out, relax, get a hotel room, eat, shop, drink, whatever. I'm madly doing laundry, cleaning, trying to finish up work, etc. so that I can actually do the relaxing part. Hafta stock the fridge so that Mom doesn't have to trudge out with four kids or order out. So, after I pick the kids up from school, we're headed to SuperTarget. Why not the grocery store? Well, largely because I also have to get a birthday present for G to take to a party on Sunday (my sister, god bless her, is taking him to the party). And the babies could each use a cheap pair of shoes to get them through to summer. But also on my list? Something cute to wear this weekend. And maybe some fun underwear. Not Victoria's Secret and Banana Republic. Freakin' Target. So. This is what it has come to. 37 years old. Married almost 10 years. Four kids. And I'm buying milk, frozen waffles, diapers, Bakugan

I was sitting at my kitchen table working on a writing project while dinner was in the oven earlier. And I kept feeling a very cold draft at my legs. I looked around. All doors and windows within eyesight were closed. All of my children were in the hearth room, watching TV. And whining about dinner. I got up and walked into the living room and foyer to see if the doors and the chimney flue were closed. They were. A blast of freezing air hit me at the top of the stairs to the basement. I ran down the stairs to find the back door wide open. It's 32 degrees out. And my evil 2 year old monkeys had turned the heat off. (New obsession. They drag the piano stool to the thermostat and mess with it. I'm looking into those clear plastic covers with locks they have at schools.) I'm fairly confident they unlocked the door and it blew open in the weather today. No idea how long it was open. I was immediately searching the basement - tv room, toy room, bar, bedroom, bathroom, unfi